What's that you hear? Birds chirping, windows opening
and, oh yes, couples bickering about doing the annual big clean. Welcome
to spring, Nesties!
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If you dread asking your partner for help when it comes to cleaning and organizing your home, you're not alone. A recent study
found nearly half of American couples clash over clutter. The good news
is, it doesn't have to ruin your relationship. Check out the tips below
to make the process a little cleaner.
1. Decide Who Does What Together
“In order to make this whole cleaning thing bearable, you've got to make
it work for both of you," says Christine Kell, declutter coach and
owner of Gaining Space
in Brooklyn, New York. "Sit down together and write out your own
separate lists of chores." On the page, create three columns: chores you
hate doing, chores you actually kind of like doing and chores you're a
little "whatever, it won't kill me" about. "Fill out the first two
columns individually, then discuss," Kell suggests. Your matches might
work out perfectly, but if not, negotiate what goes in the third column.
You might hate cleaning the tub much more than he does, while he might
hate cleaning out the fridge more. Communication is key for making sure
someone's not doing all the things they hate.
2. Put It on the Calendar
Agree to a time that's good for you both and stick to it. "Get serious,"
Kell says. "Send a calendar invite via email and invite each other to
clean. Not only does this set aside the time, but it's like an agreement
or contract between you both that cleaning is a priority."
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3. Visualize What You Want the Outcome to Look Like
"The
best motivation is a vision for what you want your home to be," Kell
says. “You both have to sit down and discuss your idea of clean." This
means agreeing on what projects are on the top of the list and how you'd
like them to turn out. For example, "I'd love to go through and get rid
of all that junk in the hall closet." This will make sure you both are
on the same page and gets you working toward the same goal.
4. Make It Fun
You can either grunt and sigh as you tackle the house, or make it into a
fun date. (We'd obviously choose the latter.) Pour some wine and crank
up your Pandora. Music not only lightens the mood, but it also can act
as a cleaning hypnosis trigger, Kell says. "Always start your cleaning
sessions with the same music," she says. "What begins to happen is, that
when you hear a certain song or artist, it becomes a type of trigger in
your mind where you pretty much can't do anything but clean."
5. Stick Together
It's super-important to tackle cleaning at the same time as your
partner, otherwise if you're cleaning and he's checking his email on the
couch, you'll feel resentment, Kell says. "You have to establish a time
to do it and do it together (see calendar tip above)—it gives you a
sense of teamwork you don't get when you do it separately."
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6. Support Your Partner When Throwing Things Out
One of the hardest parts of spring cleaning is getting rid of the items
you no longer use but still hold sentimental value. That's why it's
important not to judge or make fun of your spouse's stuff. "Talk to them
with compassion and ask questions about the item and the memories
attached to it," Kell says. "Once someone is heard, it can be easier to
let go. Encourage your lady to try on that prom dress one last time, or
encourage your guy to show you how cool he looked in his letterman
jacket—sometimes that's all you need."
