Make your child the messenger
Many divorced parents attempt to communicate using their children, causing unnecessary emotional turmoil on them and forces them to be a part of a situation even two adults cannot handle.
Instead, try using emails, which enables you to touch on specific topics without detouring into negative comments that open old wounds. Additionally, emails provide black and white evidence in court, so parents tend to be more careful when using it.
2
Sabotaging your child's relationship with the other parent
Most parents would prefer to be right versus let go of the anger and resentment they have for the other parent. This is not only ineffective, it also adds fuel to the fire of the volatile environment that they have created for themselves and their children following the divorce
Avoid bad-mouthing the other parent or force your child to take sides in an argument. At the end of the day, your child belongs to both of you - a divorce will not change that.
Many divorced parents attempt to communicate using their children, causing unnecessary emotional turmoil on them and forces them to be a part of a situation even two adults cannot handle.
Instead, try using emails, which enables you to touch on specific topics without detouring into negative comments that open old wounds. Additionally, emails provide black and white evidence in court, so parents tend to be more careful when using it.
2
Sabotaging your child's relationship with the other parent
Most parents would prefer to be right versus let go of the anger and resentment they have for the other parent. This is not only ineffective, it also adds fuel to the fire of the volatile environment that they have created for themselves and their children following the divorce
Avoid bad-mouthing the other parent or force your child to take sides in an argument. At the end of the day, your child belongs to both of you - a divorce will not change that.
3
Failing to understand your child
After a divorce, a child's feelings may be an emotional wreck, leaving them confused and craving for a need to be understood. Don't tell them what to think, feel or do. Try to empathies with what they are going through and respond specifically to their questions and what they are trying to tell you.
As a parent, you don't always have to have a solution to every problem. Accept that some things are out of your control and instead listen to them. Healing is a step-by-step process that comes through a loving connection and from being understood.
4
Avoiding the issue totally
While saying too much can harm the relationship, avoiding the issue totally is not the best solution either. Saying nothing will leave you child stressed up, as if he or she must compartmentalize their life with either parent and tiptoe around this other experience.
It is important for parents to sit down with their kids to discuss what is going on for children to feel that they are free to express themselves regardless who they are with.
5
Treating your child like your therapist
Many divorced couples go through the motions of divorce without taking the pro-active stance of seeking help. Instead, they choose to confide in their children, which is neither fair nor right.
A parent's responsibility is to look after themselves and then their children. You don't have to do it on your own and there are plenty of resources and communities out there to aid you in recovering from a divorce.
Source : Parents World
Failing to understand your child
After a divorce, a child's feelings may be an emotional wreck, leaving them confused and craving for a need to be understood. Don't tell them what to think, feel or do. Try to empathies with what they are going through and respond specifically to their questions and what they are trying to tell you.
As a parent, you don't always have to have a solution to every problem. Accept that some things are out of your control and instead listen to them. Healing is a step-by-step process that comes through a loving connection and from being understood.
4
Avoiding the issue totally
While saying too much can harm the relationship, avoiding the issue totally is not the best solution either. Saying nothing will leave you child stressed up, as if he or she must compartmentalize their life with either parent and tiptoe around this other experience.
It is important for parents to sit down with their kids to discuss what is going on for children to feel that they are free to express themselves regardless who they are with.
5
Treating your child like your therapist
Many divorced couples go through the motions of divorce without taking the pro-active stance of seeking help. Instead, they choose to confide in their children, which is neither fair nor right.
A parent's responsibility is to look after themselves and then their children. You don't have to do it on your own and there are plenty of resources and communities out there to aid you in recovering from a divorce.
Source : Parents World
