By Lea Rose Emery, Brides
To many brides, having a great bachelorette party
is an important part of getting married. It’s a time to bond with your
closest friends and mark a significant moment in your life. Plus, it’s a
chance to really cut loose without your great aunt Nancy and future mother-in-law
keeping a watchful eye over the proceedings. But let’s face it, a lot
of what happens at a bachelorette is pretty sexist. Maybe it’s just
because we were late to the game: Bachelor parties have been happening since the 5th century BCE—really—whereas
bachelorette parties didn’t make it to the scene until over 2,000 years
later, with the women’s revolution of the 1960s. But why should a night
meant to give us the same opportunity to celebrate as men—that has its
roots in a revolution of female independence—reduce us all to penis
straws and male strippers? We’re better than that, ladies.
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There’s no problem with getting wild and having a great time—you deserve it, especially with all the stress of wedding planning. But there are ways to do it that tone down the sexism. Here are some pointers for having a fun, sexy, and empowered bachelorette.
Consider A Combined Bachelor/Bachelorette Party
One
of the most inherently sexist things about bachelorette parties: you’re
supposed to divide them by the sexes. A lot of couples have chosen to
move away from the penises and glitter in favor of one massive party
with both the bride and the groom’s friends.
Not only does it make the whole occasion feel less dated, it makes
sense—you probably have shared friends, right? Isn’t it more special to
have everyone celebrate together?
Or At Least A Party With All Of Your Friends
If
combining the parties isn’t your idea of a great time, that’s totally
cool—you may want some bonding time with just you and your friends to
get ready for the big day. But why not include all your friends? There’s
no point in pretending that men and women can’t be platonic
friends—we’re way beyond that. And there’s a good chance that there are
important men in your life who you would want with you on such a big
night. Why leave them out?
[post_ads_2]Don’t Refer To It As "The Last Night Of Freedom"
You
are not being traded to your husband for an ox. You do not come with a
dowry. In no sense is this your last night of freedom—plus, if you’re
been in a committed relationship,
your last night of sexual freedom was probably some time ago. And
invoking that rhetoric makes it seem like your life is over once you get
married. You’re still going to be an amazing, incredible, independent woman.
Your life doesn’t end with marriage—nor does it start with marriage.
Sure, marriage is massive, exciting moment that changes a lot of
things—but you’ll still be you when the big day is over. So, don’t act
like your bachelorette is the last night of your life.
Avoid Strippers—At All Costs
Feminism means equality—equality for everyone.
Objectifying someone, especially one in a career path that so often
exploits women (and sometimes men), shouldn’t be on the agenda. Even if
you were going to go with a male stripper, why not swap it out for an
activity that is a little more respectful? Going out dancing with your
friends can be very sexy, without getting sexist.
[post_ads_2]If You Do Costumes, Keep Them Empowered
If
you want to dress up, that’s great—it’s your party and it should be all
about your idea of a good time. But instead of costumes that reduce
women to nothing more than hair, eyelashes, and boobs, why not embrace
costumes that also show off how strong, intelligent, and amazing they
are? You can still look great while showcasing female empowerment—look
at the suffragettes. Doll up as much as you want, but look strong as
hell while you do it.
It’s
easy to have a bachelorette where you have an incredible, over-the-top
time, with none of the sexism. Just focus on what your marriage and your
friendships mean to you and how they should be celebrated—let that lead
the way. Plus, there are tons of sexy and strong women you can draw
from. In fact, who else thinks Wonder Woman wear may be the bachelorette trend of 2017? Let’s do it, ladies.
